Pyrrah Slaven at Half Barrel

Having mixed one martini too many at Sapphire, Pyrrah Slaven moved on to the Half Barrel on Cumberland Avenue, with it's wide array of microbrews on tap, intriguing bourbon selection and enticing happy hour. On game days, things can get pretty rough, but it allows her to observe extreme examples of the human condition that allow her the capability to offer such good advice to our readers. If you're seeking advice, or have a bartending-related question, send queries to dawson@knoxvoice.com.

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach? What's the way to a woman's?

Via your checking account! Seriously, women so greatly vary in what moves them that I can't think of one predominant way to our heart. For me, it's sincerity. I think men, lots of times, say what they “think” a woman wants to hear. Hence, the ridiculous pick-up lines I hear tossed around every night. Sincerity and honesty are key in winning my affection. That and nice eyes!

I've been in a shitty band for about 10 years, and it's going nowhere, and I want to bail, but I don't want to hurt the guys in the band's feelings. How can I break it to them and keep them as friends with no hard feelings?

Get everybody drunk and just leave! Get out of town. Definitely get out of the band. Most people never come to the realization they're in a shitty band and stay with it way too long. If the friendships are good, they'll last.

What are the chances of a male patron going home with a female bartender, and what are the chances vice-versa?

Typically, the chances are the same, which is to say none. It's not really a good policy. You can lose a good customer that way, or you might end up with somebody hanging around too much when you don't want them to. Plus, think about where you're meeting them: in a bar! Of all the areas in a bar or restaurant, bartenders don't hook up with each other as much as in other areas. I guess we know each other's horrible habits. It makes us want to run.