Le Contes Magnetism and Dolly Parton (Page 1 of 1)

November 29, 2007
By: Ben White

Poking the "Alarm Cancel" button on my bedside digital clock is my Friday night ritual, signaling the end of another long workweek, and it reminds that I have no looming early morning responsibilities: If I want to, I can sleep all day. I don't iron clothes on Saturday mornings; I slow-sip my coffee — as opposed to the 6 a.m. guzzle, and my breakfast is neither unwrapped nor eaten while dodging traffic on Pellissippi Parkway.

That's the normal pattern — however, around Oct. 1, as the deciduous leaves begin to drain their jungle-green for the fiery hues of fall, I can bank on taking a serious loss in the sleep department. With the blanket of haze that's been draped across the Appalachians since June finally lifted, and even though my alarm is cancelled for the weekend, I wake up early, groggy and sleepy-eyed but unable to rest because I know how fleeting our region's theatrical natural transformation is: There's plenty of time to stay in bed when it's pizza-oven hot outside. For now, the high peaks of the Smokies pull me from bed, their panoramic vistas taking the place of my beeping alarm clock.

More than 9 million people per year visit The Great Smoky Mountains National Park, and the fall season is particularly popular — I'm not the only one who knows the treetops are dripping reds and yellows like a Jackson Pollock painting. Most of the park's visitors seem content with snapping pictures from the many roadside pull-offs. Some of them, though, make it onto the trail system, as I found out on the last Saturday of October when I set out for a day hike on the Alum Cave trail to Mt. Le Conte.  When I arrived at the trailhead, I was forced to park in the ditch along the roadside because the lot was overflowing.

While I waited for a break in the traffic — feeling a bit like Frogger trying to dart across Newfound Gap Road — I wondered about my decision to scramble from bed so early. Too crowded, I thought. I could be sleeping right now.

Close to the trailhead, tourists in shiny boots and creased jeans walked with backpacks that held sleeping babies. Children darted back and forth, yelling and laughing. Whole families walked side-by-side, clogging the path. I lowered my head and quickened my step, frequently calling out "Excuse me" so I could buzz past and get some distance behind me, hoping the trail's population would dwindle the further along I went.

By the time I reached Arch Rock at mile 1.4, the crowd lessened a bit. At mile 2.4, I left many people hunched over their backpacks underneath the Alum Cave bluffs. I thought I might have a few minutes of wilderness solitude then, but I soon ran into a foursome who turned at my approach and beamed smiles my way.

"Where you from?" asked a white-haired man leaning against a tree.

"Maryville," I replied.

"I used to hike with a lady from Maryville."

A redheaded man wearing sun-darkened glasses then pitched in: "This is Ed's 2,005th climb up Le Conte."

"Did you say 2,005 times?"

"Yep.  And he didn't even start hikin' till he was in his 60s."

I looked at the old man and stuck out my hand.

"Ed Wright," he said.  "Nice to meet you."

I considered hiking with him, picking his brain, but I didn't want to butt in on his group. So I waved goodbye and headed up the trail, and for a few minutes, the redheaded guy hiked with me, chatting amicably and bragging about his friend Ed's accomplishments, which included, among other things, with biking across the country.

"He's a millionaire, too, but the crank on his bicycle went bad one day. So he started hikin'."

I mentioned that I might have to write about this in my column, and he got excited.

"I'm gonna give you the ball on this," he said, "and let you run with it.  I tried to tell this to a reporter from the News Sentinel, but nothin' happened." We continued our climb as he went on. "You know where Dolly Parton Peaks are?"

"No."

"Just below Inspiration Point. Look out over the valley. You'll see 'em. They look just like her breasts." He cupped his hands in front of his chest. "With your newspaper contacts, you need to get a hold of Dolly's agent. See if they'll let you superimpose a photo of Dolly standin' in front of the peaks." He stopped and smiled. "They'll sell a million of those pictures, and the money can go to the park."

Suddenly, I was glad that I chose this path.

"I'll see what I can do," I said, laughing, and then I leaned into the trail and began the last mile or so of the climb.

The redheaded man — I'd neglected to get his name — fell back, waiting for his group. He called after me: "Take the ball on that, now. They'll sell a million!"

Normally, I go into the woods in search of isolation, so I'd started this hike slightly disgruntled, put off by the crowd. But I should have known better: The guidebook Hiking Trails of the Smokies opens its section about Le Conte with, "Call it charisma. Or mystique or magnetism. Whatever you call it, Mt. Le Conte has it in abundance, enough to lure thousands of hikers each year up its rocky trails to its lofty summit." And here I was in the middle of the park's most impressive season — I might as well have gone to Central Park mid-summer in hopes of being the only jogger slapping the pavement.

All I needed was the proverbial attitude adjustment. The rest of the hike was splendid, and the view from Cliff Top — which I enjoyed with several other trail-mix munching hikers — was crystal.

It was a blue-sky day, a good time to be out of bed early.

So thanks, redheaded buddy of Ed Wright, for reminding me why I wasn't asleep.

And hey, Dolly, do you think I could get that picture?

* The views expressed in Commentary do not necessarily reflect those of Knoxville Voice.

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