Ask a Gay Guy: Protocols (Page 2 of 2)

Where can “straight” men find a safe place to explore their sexuality without being judged by society?

Indiana Jones

Dear Indiana,

I think what you are seeking is somewhere far away from the United States, especially in the times we are living in now. Talk about terrorism…

I’m kidding, of course. The first place that comes to mind is college. That’s where I did all of my exploration, and I came out of it all pretty well. Not to give college a bad name; Lord knows there are those that think it a total waste of money and an evil pit of corruption. I thought it was great. Sure, I gained some book knowledge of theater and psychology, speech and statistics, but what sticks out for me is discovering myself and having the space to do it safely. With few bills and responsibilities, time on my hands and very little oversight (parents are three hours away!), I learned quite a bit about “real life.” I would guess that the same is true for lots of people.

If you are out of college, there are very few literal places where you can explore, but there are several situational places that will work. When I say literal place, I am referring to buildings or organizations such as the mall or a hotel. Situational places are places you find yourself in life like in a marriage or a commune. I can think of a few camps that you can pay to attend to explore your sexuality. Think of the movie Exit to Eden with Rosie O’Donnell. Those places really exist. If you are in a committed relationship, you might have a conversation with your partner about your desire to explore. If the activities that you choose are safe, consensual and discreet, then you may be well on your way to finding what you’re looking for. Realize that all actions come with some risk of societal judgment, so discretion is your key. Oh, and ALWAYS USE A CONDOM.

If you have questions to Ask a Gay Guy, or any advice about my grandpa’s awkward embrace, e-mail me at: tmurchis1@msn.com.

* The views expressed in Commentary do not necessarily reflect those of Knoxville Voice.