Looking for Love (Page 1 of 4)

Walking through a local watering hole, the myriad of conversations overheard are wildly entertaining: "Dude, I haven't seen South Park in SO long"; "I've been a wanted man for four days now"; "If that [four or five expletives] calls me again, I'm telling his wife." Funny, yes, but for the hoards of singles who frequent bars and other social events in hopes of meeting a compatible mate — yikes.

As spring approaches, the birds and bees emerge from their semi-dormant winter state and many a single guy or gal take to bar patios as sleeves and skirt hems shorten in the sun’s warmth. What better place than local patios to hunt the hotness? Yes, lightning has been known to strike in bars, but the scene doesn't prove successful for everyone. Besides the occasional porn store’s bulletin boards with singles listings, Myspace and Craigslist — and maybe the random meeting at a park, church or Wal-Mart — where else is there for Knoxvillians looking for love?

Fear not, singles of Knoxville: Several local social forums are aimed at matchmaking and love-doctoring. Whether you're the shy type who prefers to stay in or simply tired of the meat-market and one-night stands, there's an option suited for you.



World Wide Wonderland

Isabella Williams*, 29, studied communications at the University of Tennessee and remembers well the days of unsatisfying bar-trolling. "It's so hard to meet people when you're out. You don't meet people at church, and at bars, they have a different agenda," she says, noting that most hookups at bars are for the night, not for a serious relationship. Now at an advertising firm in Nashville, Williams says networking for her job is also an appropriate time to look for love. "It's hard to go to a professional setting and ask, 'Hey are you single?'" So after watching "Because I Said So", a movie with a plot about online dating, Williams decided to give it a shot.

"My experiences have been mostly positive, [but] you really have to know yourself and what you're looking for or it's a waste of time," she says. "If you put that you like UT football, every guy is going to respond to you." Williams uses Match.com, an online forum for which singles can create a free profile and list their interests and relationship goals. Browsing other singles’ profiles and sending messages is also free, but to e-mail members requires a paid subscription, with rates kicking in at $34.99 per month.

John Walls, public relations for Match.com, says the site — originally launched in April 1995 — gets as many as 60,000 new members a day and welcomes same-sex dating. (Walls says the site has 15 million “alternative-lifestyle” daters.) Think the technological era has passed you by? Walls says the 50-years-and-older demographic is the fastest-growing among Match.com users.

Knoxvillesinglesonline.com is the local offshoot owned by Match.com. Though Walls says specific statistics are unavailable for the Knoxville market, the company receives informal feedback from users indicating an average of 400 nationwide members a month get married after meeting on the site.

Williams has used the service for about eight months and found a relationship that lasted four months, though she's currently single. But it doesn't look like she'll be headed back out to the bars anytime soon. "I prefer to do [online dating], where I can open up and be honest without exposing myself to people who don't have an interest in what I care about," she says.

This mentality is part of what's turned the 1980s and ’90s stigma against online dating into the $350 million revenue-monster that Match.com alone reported in 2007.

James McNulty, an assistant professor of social psychology at UT, studies relationships, relationship stability and maintainability, and married couples. He and graduate student Levi Baker provide insight into what they say has now become an acceptable social norm. "There is, or was, a taboo regarding Internet dating — people believed it was only used by those who had already failed to find relationships through more traditional means," McNulty says. "As more and more people start knowing someone that successfully used an Internet dating service, however, that taboo seems to be wearing off." Baker asked first-year graduate students about online dating, and many reported they used the sites after hearing of friends' past success.